Revisiting the past

Yesterday I was walking through one of the corridors in my school when I spotted him. He was sitting on a bench right beside one of the stairs and he had his arm wrapped around her. I haven’t seen him for a very long time. It must be two years now. And in a city like mine, where it feels like anyone who is your age knows who you are, two years feels like a lifetime.I don’t know what they were talking about but he didn’t notice me when I walked past and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

She looked sad. I can’t put my finger on what it was but is was something, I’m sure of it. I think she was sad about something she had read because she couldn’t take her eyes off the sheet of paper she was holding. He was holding her so tight with his face so close to hers and somewhere deep inside me I wished, just for a split second, that I could erase her out of the picture and put myself right there beside him.

I wonder why it’s like that. I don’t feel anything for him, anymore, yet I always get anxious if I see him or when I see one of his friends. Maybe it’s because the chapter of my life that involved him was never really finished. I closed it as quickly as I could. I tried to forget about everything that had anything to do with him as quickly as possible. I am aware of the fact that I am never going to forget him. But what annoys me the most is that I don’t know why. We didn’t kiss, we didn’t date, I don’t even know if we were friends. Well we were friends for that summer but after that it was over and we both moved on.

Something about him just really got to me. Maybe it was that he never gave me what I so obviously was craving. Maybe it was that he differed from all the other boys. Or did he? Maybe I just didn’t know him well enough to know who he really was. Maybe that is why I’ve never forgotten him; because he was a mystery. I’m very sure that he will be as unknown to me now as he was back then. It was weird to see him next to her. It was the first time I ever saw him next to a girl and the first time I saw him with his guard down. I don’t know if he was happy, but he seemed to be content.

It’s so funny when you see or meet people you tried to leave behind. They always seem to resurface when you were about to forget them. It’s as if life is trying to makes sure that you remember them so that you remember the mistakes and lessons that followed after you encountered them. It’s as if life is trying to help you to not make the same mistakes again. It puzzles me.


3 thoughts on “Revisiting the past

  1. This is a fantastic post!

    Out of the blue today, my first boyfriend wanted to talk to me. Odd how things happen… 3 years and then a sudden call. It’s just strange, but I love how you said it might be a reminder to remember the lessons we learned.

    That’s just awesome. 🙂

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