Long Distance

If there is one thing that my friends have advised me not to commit to is being in a long distance relationship. Ever since I started dating people I liked I’ve been a strong believer that couples who live so far from each other that they can’t see each other every second week are doomed from the very start. But is it really as impossible as many claim?

I’m aware that it is extremely difficult to be apart from the person you’re together with. But one has to realize that it’s not only long distance relationships that are hard. They’re just different from “normal” ones. Being apart from each other creates obstacles. It’s impossible to connect on a physical level, that’s for sure. It’s definitely harder for you to read your partners body language (unless you only use Skype) which makes it difficult for you to know how your partner feels or reacts to certain things unless they say it out loud. The fact that you can’t hug the person you want to hug the most makes it even harder. Being together with someone who doesn’t live in the same town or even in the same country isn’t easy and it takes more dedication than a normal relationship would. That’s my opinion. But does that mean that it’s not worth it?

Long distance relationships that turn out to be successful are based on trust and being honest with your significant other. It’s easier for your partner to be paranoid, and get away with it, if they often meet you and therefore don’t get the chance to spin-off and believe that their imagination meets what’s really going on. But if you don’t get the chance to hangout now and then it’s easy to fall into the paranoia-trap. You’ll realize that your partner is hanging out with other people and you’re not there. You read into things that don’t exist. Paranoid people will in my opinion never make it in a functioning long distance relationship.

If you would happen to meet someone who you really like I would say go for it. No matter where they live. As long as you know what you getting yourself into. It’s going to take up a lot of your time, just as “normal” relationships do. But this time will be spent on the phone or sitting at the computer screen. As long as you feel like your relationship is going somewhere it’s worth it. You need to know where it’s going. If you don’t it may be hard to remember why you’re dating someone you don’t get to kiss every week when you might as well be doing it with someone who lives in your city.

long distance


It’s time we talk about… Smartphones

The relationship that certain people have to their smartphones is a special and complicated one. Some think that smartphones are an invention that is as important for civilization as the invention of the wheel or the ability to control fire. Others believe that smartphones are just the latest addition to a list of  addictions that affect us. Both sides of the argument have merit.

Smartphones are amazing. The things we can achieve with their help are frankly very impressive. But sometimes we have to stop and think for a minute about what it costs us. Is it really that important to always be online? Would life as we know it lose its meaning if we turned off every app? What do we gain and what do we lose?

I’ve often thought about buying a smart phone but I’ve always dismissed the thought after further consideration. Yes, I confess, I don’t own a smartphone and I’m actually quite happy with that decision. When you think about it having a smartphone has a lot to do with wanting to multitask and wanting to access information quickly. Being able to multitask has often been seen as something good and a great way to save time. But recent discoveries have shown that the human brain is not capable of actively multitasking. Trust me on this one, I’ve learned the hard way.

The 9th of September Tim Wu posted an article for the New Yorker. You can find a link to the article further down. He discusses a problem that almost every person who owns a computer, or a smartphone, faces. We get distracted too easily. The quote below sums up the problem we face today.

“Today’s machines don’t just allow distraction; they promote it. The Web calls us constantly, like a carnival barker, and the machines, instead of keeping us on task, make it easy to get drawn in—and even add their own distractions to the mix. In short: we have built a generation of “distraction machines” that make great feats of concentrated effort harder instead of easier.”

This is the main reason why I haven’t gone out and bought a smart phone. I know myself too well and I know that I would get addicted to it. I would download too many unnecessary apps and I would spend my precious time indulging in activities that didn’t really increase my happiness. Instead of growing and developing I would scroll through Instagram picture after picture or log in on Twitter to see if my favorite blogger had posted a new “thought of the day”. I would waste hours-on-end doing that kind of stuff when I really should be focusing on studying, getting the grades I’ve already worked so hard for and doing all the things I love to do when I have the time.

I have many friends who often look at their smartphones instead of listening to the teacher who is giving a presentation for our latest assignment. I’m always baffled when the same friends a few weeks later freak out because they haven’t put in enough hours on writing their essays. Shouldn’t they know better? Shouldn’t we all know better? But it isn’t that easy. Anyone can say that the key to success is concentration. But concentration doesn’t come naturally and we only make it harder for ourselves to concentrate when we allow something like  smartphones, that encourage us to access everything the internet holds whenever we like, to control they way we use our time. Anyone can fall into that trap and I know that I would easily become a victim if I had bought a smartphone.

Your world will not fall apart just because you are the last person to reply to a Facebook status update or because you don’t regularly  post a tweet or instagram a photo. What will make your world fall apart is when you stop doing the things that actually deserve your time and dedication. We need to put things in perspective. Being online can be fun, but when you’re online constantly it can become a burden, almost a form of slavery, instead of being a source of happiness.

people party with smartphones


Autumns Here

I can’t paint nails for shit. I can’t whistle and I’m useless when it comes to cleaning. I’m messy and to self-conscious for my well-being. But I am nevertheless fucking amazing. In every way that is important. I can’t believe I let a someone else get in the way of Me, Myself and I. In the end that’s what’s important. I have to be comfortable with myself. I can’t start doubting myself due to the fact that I’m not wanted by another human being. Everyone has their weaknesses and faces hard times. This has been a hard time for me. I’ve just been out of it. I lost track and that happens to everyone. But good tidings are never to far away.

My braces are off! I’m pleased with my teeth and I’m so happy to no longer have to deal with blisters.

I’ve gotten into the routine of studying again. Very necessary and it turns out to actually be pretty fun when you get into it again.

Autumn has arrived to Uppsala which fills my heart with joy. I love the change of colours, the fresh and crisp coldness and the autumn jackets.

But most of all: I’m happy with myself again. Finally.

The september Issue

It’s easy to loose your way now and again. For some its easier than others. Lately I’ve been stressed about.. well everything if I’m going to be totally honest. It’s not easy when you want to accomplish everything at once. I have a tendency to bite off more than I can chew. This month is one of those months when nothing goes your way.

The September issue… not knowing why he doesn’t like you. And it’s not that I feel hopeless without him, not at all. I’m fine, really. I just think it’s a pity because I know that we would have be so freakin fabulous together. We would have been amazing. And it wouldn’t have mattered that he was a tad shorter than me or that he was still trying to quit smoking but not really succeeding. It wouldn’t matter that people would look at us and see us as incompatible. And I couldn’t blame them, because they wouldn’t have know what was really going on.

That his smile is still the sweetest thing on earth at the moment. Or that I always wish I was the girl he talked to, hugged, laughed with. They wouldn’t know that every time I meet him I just know that there’s something special with that guy. He’s just nice. In every way.

Ah you guys it’s not good. But at least he genuinely thinks I’m a cool kid. Is that supposed to help? That he wants to be my friend? Sometimes it does and sometimes it’s the worst thing I can think off. Pff I’ll get over it.

Summer Boredom

In 48 days I turn 18. I graduate from highschool in less than a year. Which means that I can more or less do whatever I want to. But having the option to do whatever I want is somewhat frustrating. I will no longer have an obvious goal that I want to reach. I no longer have to go to school, although I know that I will go to university. All of a sudden I have the opportunity to choose. I have the right to choose. But what is the point of having that option if I have no idea what so ever of what I want to spend my days doing.

To be honest, I’m feeling lost. When I was younger (I know I’m still young), about 10 years old, everything was so clear. I wanted to be the secretary-general of the United Nations. No ifs and buts. That was what I was going to do, that was my goal when I was 10 years old. I had found my passion as a young girl. I realized that someone had to try to fix the problems that affected so many people across the world. And I wanted to be that person who made a difference.

I grew up to become a realist and at the same time a pessimist when it comes to what I believe that I can accomplish. Because almost 8 years have passed and I find myself cruising through dreams where I play a different character every time. And I try to see which one fits me best. And doing so I have come to the devastating conclusion that I actually don’t have a burning passion anymore. Or I do, but it feels like I don’t burn enough to follow through with the dreams that I should be transforming into reality. It’s like someone poured a bucket of water over me. Does everyone feel like this at the end of highschool or is it just me?

I keep telling myself to just get over it, suck it up and do something useful. I’m supposed to be useful, right?

Friends <3

I love my friends. I love them so much that I’m not even going to wrap this message into a beautiful text. It’s enough to just say “I love you”. I love my friends in school, the friends I met during the period of my life when I wondered if God was for me or not(turned out not to be the right path for me), I love the friends I met when I was at parties thinking that I would meet no one of any interest. I love the friends I talk to every day and the ones that I wish I spoke to more often.  I love you guys so much and I hope that you are aware of that.

One thing that I’ve learnt when my realtions with my friends have grown stronger is that you have to give friendship time to mature. You have to have patience and understandment towards your friends and foes. Often my foes have become my friends. Except the ones I really hate. I just ignore them.

Anyhow, I love you ❤ Goodnight